10 tips for a successful college visit

The season of college tours is in high gear.

During a recent trip to Madison, Wisconsin, a college professor found herself in an elevator at the student union with a mother and daughter. The mother carried a school tote bag, and when the professor asked the daughter what she thought of the campus, the mother immediately jumped in to speak for her.

For a professor with over 30 years of experience and the author of a recent college guide, that moment captured a broader trend. Parents often say things like “We are applying to blank school” or “We hope to get blank dorm.” The sense that students and parents are going to college together is widespread.

Striking the right balance on a college tour

There are things parents can do to stay engaged without smothering. It’s a Goldilocks situation: they should be neither completely removed nor overly involved. Students need support, but also guidance toward self-advocacy, confidence, and finding their own voice.

When opportunities arise to ask questions, let your kids and other kids speak first. The adults you meet on campus — faculty or staff — are potential connections for your student. That’s a great time to take a back seat and just observe.

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Avoid overscheduling. Some of the best moments happen when there’s room for spontaneity. A conversation might lead to coffee with another family, or an elevator chat could lead to a professor showing a lab. Giving your student alone time to walk around and envision themselves on the school grounds helps them think clearly.

Campus tours are a bit like first dates. Don’t bombard your student with questions about their impressions right away. Many students need time to process. Telling them how much you love a campus can make them hate it — and vice versa.

What parents should investigate on their own

Avoid keeping spreadsheets for college visits. Students should decide what dimensions of the location matter most to them and make their own lists of pros and cons. Those notes need to be theirs, not their parents’.

Still, there are things students are less likely to know or ask about.